Have you ever noticed how some people always begin their sentences with “NO” or “YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND” and most often finish the sentence with “IS IT NOT?” It has always been my contention that what is basically in our subconscious mind comes to our lips. Apparently then, if our conversation is based on these remarks then there is something in our make-up which does not want contradiction or criticism. That leaves us with no option but to agree with you and appreciate everything you are saying or else be ready for a heated argument and even acrimony.
The slightest hint of disagreement creates a wave, and out pops a statement to prove how wrong the other person is. I relate a small conversation with one of my landlord who was also my father’s friend so of course he saw himself in that role too. I had place an extra source of light under the bathroom mirror to light up the lower portion of my face and neck so that I could shave better.
Once he came in and saw it and immediately noticed it as he was a man of curiosity and some intellectual brilliance. So of course he asked me why this extra light and I told him my logic. His immediate response was “But light should come from behind you”; he was obviously repeating the simple guiding factor given to all novice photographers which must have stuck in his mind since his childhood. It just plopped out of his mouth but I must say in his defense that he immediately saw the illogical and sad sorry. Why do we have to be one-upping on everybody? Why can’t we be a team and think and work together? All it needs is a moment’s reflection before we blurt out some utter nonsense which only alienates us from others and makes us lose some good opportunities in life?
This question haunts me all the time when I notice the reactions of people around me as I was overfed on this behavior. In my whole life I had never seen my father accept anyone ever said with good grace. For every sentence heard he had always an alternative suggestion and he would begin his sentence by “It would have been better if you…..”. He closed the door so effectively that I never had a conversation with him in the 47 years I had known him. It could only be a one way diatribe or nothing.